FOLLIES

What’s in a name?

Bee Prepared
Circle A-piaries
Anti-Imperialist Apiaries
EcoApiaries (holier than thou)
Treehugger Apiaries
Armpit Apiaries
Ah thanks man, I depreciate it.
Practical Apiaries
Ninja Attack Apiaries
One Spoon Apiaries
Bee Comfortable
Get-off-your-assiaries
Stick-it-to-the-man Apiaries
Sex, Bugs, and Rock n Roll
Bees obliterating mind-forged manacles!
Slum Gum Apiaries
Infinity Apiaries
Hard Seed Apiaries
Icarus Out of Service
OK Apiaries
Barking Flea Apiaries
Psychos and Underdogs Inc.
Holy Honey (It’s Heavenly)
The Hive Beetle Helpers
There is an alternative (Apiaries)
Sparkle Sparkle Apiaries
Go West, Young Bee!
Republicans-Gone-Wild Apiaries
Kisses & Gunshots Apiaries
Beeswax, Proverbial Beeswax, None-of-your Beeswax
Beez Kneez Apiareez
Fear & Loathing Apiaries
This Bugs for You
Shear Freak Beeculture
Does this story have an ending?
Delusions-of-inadequacy apiaries
Quality Assurance Apiaries
You syndicate, we aggregate.
Buzz Honey
Andre the Giant Apiaries
Friends of the Fire Ants Secret Society
The Few, the Proud, the Bees.
(A teenage colloquialism! Get the tear gas!)
Wingnut Apiaries
Total Wingnut Apiaries
Livin-on-sponge-cake Apiaries
Hokey Pokey Apiaries
Wax-on Wax-off at the r/evolution ranch (just down Wingnut Way)

Do you ever get stung?
Buzz off!

Do you ever get stung?
Only when I deserve it.

Do you ever get stung?
No, all our bees had their stingers removed surgically.

Do you ever get stung?
It’s all fun and games till someone gets stung in the face.

Do you ever get stung?
They don’t call them killers for nothing.

Do you ever get stung?
Yes, and the venom is so wholesome that I no longer need to eat.

Do you ever get stung?
Stung by what?

Do you ever get stung?
What do you mean by “get”?

Do you ever get stung?
It ain’t no use to sit and cry for bees, babe.

Do you ever get stung?
Well they sting you when yer tryin to bee so good… and I would not feel so all alone…

Do you ever get stung?
They only sting wingnuts. That's wingnutty. The wingnuttiest.

Do you ever get stung?
Zip-o-dee-doooo-da

Do you ever get stung?
Do you ever shut up?

Do you ever get stung?
Only if I get out of the truck.

Do you ever get stung?
Nah, we use force fields these days. Roger, Red Leader. The rear deflectors are down!

Do you ever get stung?
Lean on bees, when you’re not strong. Don’t get discouraged, try to bee encouraged.

Do you ever get stung?
Can one bee really make a difference?

Do you ever get stung?
Only when the boss says, “Go get stung.”

Do you ever get stung?
Sting first, ask questions later.

Do you ever get stung?
Stings cleanse the Doors of Perception.

Do you ever get stung?
How much Money will it take for you to ask something relevant?

Do you ever get stung?
Sticks and stones and blah blah blah… Bees will never hurt me.

Do you ever get stung?
The Bee Stingeth and continue to Stingeth.

Do you ever get stung?
Only when they make me wear the bullseye.

Do you ever get stung?
Only by the IRS.

Do you ever get stung?
Only when I use my cellphone.

Do YOU ever get stung?
Never explain. Never apologize.

BEE POEMS

Small cell
Natural sill
Where once I hatched
Now I fill
Nice nectar

mythical ethical icicle tricycle
(I give this speech a Bee)

Some folks I thought were quite alright
Now are lost in Endless Night.

The folks who once walked to and fro
Now shake hands with ghosts you know.

The people in the well-lit hall
Are piloting a disco ball.

The decaying family reaches for salt
The President says it’s not my fault.

The larva that hatches from a fertilized egg
Soon forms two eyes, and a leg, and a leg
And a leg
And a leg
And a leg
And a leg
And then a STING.

Let me call you HONEY (for I can’t remember your name)

Melons growing on the side of the road
Gonna pollinate flowers until I get old.

Did you fast
In the past?

Is it your wish
To fast while you fish?

Do you wish to fish?

Do you wish
for a fish
in your dish?

I would be a fish pissed
To top YOUR wish list.

The lake is so deep
Its waters so physical
Its secrets so great

A pure candle drips
Onto the hands of someone
Who wants to snuff it

“Teach your children well.”
(Counter cultures must be multigenerational.)
whirling water will one day cease
and our misery increase

“Don’t buy things you don’t need.”
(Keep industrialization from codifying your domestic life.)
standing water do not drink
should you in desperation sink

“Burn your money.”
(Stop quantifying a reality full of passion.)
whirling water thinks aloud
reminds us to the dark’ning shroud
Watchfiend commercials
People tricking each other
as prey
and then taking stuff